Things That Never Happed on Dr Who
by PrincessGossamerRaventress
Summary: Miscellaneous drabbles about things that never happened but could have, or perhaps, should have.
1. Chapter 1

Farringham England – 1913

Martha watched 'John Smith' flirt with Matron Redfern. Not for the first time, she wondered why she, a highly educated, twenty first century woman was putting up with being treated like crap by her so-called 'friend'.

Of all the places in time and space he could have chosen, why did he pick this one, she thought bitterly. Didn't he know how hard it would be for me to live in these times? He couldn't have picked an era where I wouldn't have had to face racism every day? Or if he wanted Edwardian England so badly, couldn't he at least have picked a more enlightened place than this? You want to live a normal human life with Nurse Bigot, go right ahead, she thought. I'm out of here.

Standing up, she threw down her scrub brush and called out, "Jenny, you've been a great friend to me and deserve so much better than to be a servant, and Tim, you're the only student who didn't act as if I were sub-human because I'm from 'London', so come with me. And Tim, grab that pocket watch off Professor Smith's table while you're at it."

Puzzled, Jenny and Tim followed Martha to the TARDIS. Ignoring their astonishment, she powered up the Time Rotor and set the coordinates for Tahiti.


	2. Different Drummer

The Sound of Drums AU:

The Doctor, Martha and Jack watched as Harold Saxon gloated at the sight of Martha's family being manhandled by goons.

Where's Lee Harvey Oswald when you really need him, Jack thought mordantly. Turning to the Doctor, he said, "I could sneak up on him and snap his neck."

To Jack's surprise and disgust, the Doctor merely said, "I'm not here to kill the Master; I'm here to save him."

The hell you are, thought Jack. I've read the UNIT files, I know exactly who and what the Master is, and I'll be damned if I let him endanger this planet because of your misguided sentimentality.

Springing into action, Jack quickly pulled out his revolver and fired three shots into the Master's head, utterly destroying the Time Lord's brain pan. Regenerate from that, ya bastard, Jack thought gleefully.

Then he promptly cold-cocked the Doctor, grabbed Martha, and teleported all three of them back to the Hub before the security detail had time to react.


	3. Unexpected Developments

Bad Wolf Bay – Alternate Universe

Rose, Jackie and Handy waited for Pete to show up in a Zeppelin.

A single tear of grief ran down Rose's face as she thought longingly of her 'real' Doctor and their 'forever love'. A love which transcended time and space, a love which nothing, not Daleks, nor Cybermen, nor the fact that the Doctor is a nine hundred year old alien with commitment issues, a history of dumping his companions, and a hatred of domesticity could tarnish. Oh well, she thought, at least the Doctor had the decency to leave me with a guy who looks like him.

She smiled lovingly at Handy who was thinking, Honey, you might want to tone down the 'raccoon eyes' and while you're at it bleached hair has got to go. Hey, when did I develop an eye for style?

Meanwhile, Jackie was fuming. Just who's supposed to take care of Handy, she thought peevishly. A vision of all the pets Rose had begged for over the years, only to lose interest in a couple of days flashed through her mind. Sure, Rose says she'll take care of him, but I'll be the one who ends up feeding him, Jackie thought.

Suddenly, a man appeared on the beach. He was tall, dark, and handsome, with a roguish twinkle in his eye. Spotting the threesome, he sauntered over, checked them out, smiled lasciviously at Handy, and said "Well, hello there, cutie. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, you want to visit the 51st century?"

It dawned on Handy that there was a great deal more of Donna in him than anyone had suspected. After checking out Jack's handsome face and muscular body, he said, "Sure, why not?"

Jack put his arm around Handy, set the vortex manipulator for his swinging bachelor pad, and they disappeared.

Rose cried so hard her mascara left permanent track marks in her face, and was so depressed that she didn't get her hair bleached for weeks (actually this was an improvement). Jackie was torn between relief at not having to deal with the Doctor's penniless, ID less, genocidal double and envy.


	4. Who Turned Out The Lights

The Doctor's voice rang out clear and confident, "This is the biggest library in the universe, look me up."

There was a pause. The Vashta Narada replied, "We're a carnivorous swarm of space insects. WE CAN'T READ!"

The Doctor barely had time to sputter out a "What" before being reduced to bunch long skinny bones in a suit.

Donna lived happily ever after in Virtual!World.


End file.
